“Hey, lets just sit here, I don’t want to sit with him there”. Another child replies as eloquently, “Ok, then, lets just sit here and wait for mom to come and call us for the dinner”. Another young kid started off with this, “Did any of you watch any movies off late? Hey, come here ya! Sit here”. This was a sneak peek of children’s conversation at the marriage. When an elderly lady walked up to them and asked something in Tamil and repeated the same in Kannada, none of the children could really reply for they didn’t know either languages, but their mother tongue is supposedly “Tamil”. What are we really teaching our children? Why is it this lacuna in passing on the traditions? Do we feel inferior when we think that our children can converse in “international language”?? Is it a matter of pride??

Back to the marriage now! I didn’t want to go, but I quite was dragged along by my mother who felt too bored to go alone, so I had accompany her. The marriage reception was at a grand place that was extravagantly decorated, obviously boisterous, and was teeming with people who came to wish the couple that evening. As we walked into the hall, I almost felt extremely suffocated and just wanted to turn back and flee from there. I felt suffocated somehow. I for a strange reason couldn’t relate to anyone there and felt choked amongst all the “suave” men and women out there.

There were others we knew who had come too. In the conversation, it led to this, precisely something I was hoping to elude. An aunt started out that I could have chosen a saree to drape than a salwar kameez. She mentioned something like, “You should have worn a saree, why did you choose a salwar? And what is this- hardly any bangles? Didn’t even bother to change your ear rings and look what you are wearing on your neck? Why don’t you care enough about how you look, and adorn yourself with some exquisite things like everyone else here??” Now, I was so totally pissed with that! I was already being smothered out there and to top it all, I had to take these kind of comments and even bother to reply aptly that I still be able to show my “respect” towards her! So, trying to mellow down how I felt and trying harder to conceal my disgust, I smiled and said wryly something that I can’t even recollect now (pardon me for this memory gap!).

: If today, I had my friend around, we would have happily spent our time philosophizing on this and my vent out would have been much easier with added comments from her. Since, she is not around, my vent out is here, through this! Anyway, that apart, so I had to contend with all these comments and still put up fake smile and talk to everyone I was being introduced to. Then was a comment from this other woman, as to why I was doing what I was doing (studying psychology). She had sermons to give me as to how now, even engineers are deprived of jobs and I was doing a course that wouldn’t give me anything! GOD!! That was when, I wanted to just ask her to “Shut up” and mind her own business. But, well, we are taught “patience” and “respect elders” (please don’t bother to ask me what they mean), so I had to gulp them down and nod. Now, if you were thinking, why I didn’t do my usual (putting up a fight), come on! She was not someone who was looking for any genuine answers, why would I waste my time and effort??

this one in for her

“Hey, lets just sit here, I don’t want to sit with him there”. Another child replies as eloquently, “Ok, then, lets just sit here and wait for mom to come and call us for the dinner”. Another young kid started off with this, “Did any of you watch any movies off late? Hey, come here ya! Sit here”. This was a sneak peek of children’s conversation at the marriage. When an elderly lady walked up to them and asked something in Tamil and repeated the same in Kannada, none of the children could really reply for they didn’t know either languages, but their mother tongue is supposedly “Tamil”. What are we really teaching our children? Why is it this lacuna in passing on the traditions? Do we feel inferior when we think that our children can converse in “international language”?? Is it a matter of pride??